“I want a divorce.” Never a sentence that crosses your mind when you’re walking down the aisle. I knew a ton of friends that have been divorced, but I truly thought it would never happen to me. We never had children, and having a family was my dream. Then I was kicked back to square one to start all over.
My divorce was finalized about 3 years ago. Looking back 3 years prior, I was a broken lost soul. Today in hindsight I have a much different view. No one deserves to go through a period in their life when they feel terrible about themselves. Being married to someone you resent is emotionally taxing, and incredibly complicated.
I GOT MYSELF BACK.
Once you are able to get rid of a negative influence in your life, you will begin to see all the greatest things about yourself, which will inevitably help you feel confident once again. I never considered my relationship ‘unhealthy’ but when you’re not getting along, it will take a toll on your health. An unhealthy relationship will put a strain on your entire family. Everyone around you can feel the tension and stress that builds up when you are with someone with whom you cannot be happy. Even though you might be terrified about the idea of being alone for the first time in years, it is better to deal with a temporary period of sadness and grief- especially if you could have been dealing with a lifetime of bitter resentment. Also, use support! Looking back, I had a lot of moments where I hid my feelings. I’m not sure if I was embarrassed, but I really wish I would have utilized the resources around me- family, friends, a support group. There is someone that understands what you’re going through and there is a peak coming ahead for you if you’re currently in the valley- stay strong! - Joan, MA